NEW YEAR'S EVE!

A look back at 2015…

I feel like 2015 went by quickly for me.  It was a good year.  With how hard 2014 was, I didn't know what to expect with 2015, and I am so happy/relieved/grateful with how this year as turned out. 

Christmas just passed and I often thought back to the holiday season last year (2014), about how difficult it was, how I would have to fake a smile to get through, how much grief I was in…I was afraid all of my holiday’s would feel like that…But this one was so much different than last, thank goodness!  It’s amazing how much can change in a year, good or bad.

I have felt so much joy this holiday season.  I have been able to have fun with the kids doing holiday things without that weight of sorrow and clouds over me like last year and I am so thankful for that.  And having this baby boy moving all around inside me through this season is just an extra reminder of how truly blessed we are, it never gets old feeling your baby move and I can’t help but smile every single time I feel him (which is very often)!

I love my round "baby bump" in this picture of my cousin and I.

Looking back at 2015 it wasn't a super eventful year besides this pregnancy (which to me is huge!), there are some key events that stand out…like all the kids birthdays, sometimes it still amazes me how old they are all getting…Trey’s memorial in May…finding out I am pregnant right before my birthday in August…weekend trip to Pittsburg to visit friends at halloween…finding out this baby is boy (and doing great!)…anniversary of Trey’s delivery in November, our 13 year wedding anniversary the next day…and then my husband being off work the last two weeks of this year for Christmas and New year’s and how nice it’s been with all us being together.  Even though not a lot of big events happened in 2015, it was made up of many, many wonderful small moments which turns out is what can make the biggest impact.

Looking forward to 2016, I don’t have a whole lot of goals or resolutions this year (I actually wrote a post about this for another blog I write for that will be published in a week or two).  Being pregnant obviously I’m not making any weight loss goals like I probably normally would.  I usually make reading goals, which I still am, but I’m only planning what I want to read up to April because after the baby is born I’m not sure how my reading time will change (I read over 60 books this past year!).  

* updated to add the link to the blog post I wrote about making time to read in the new year, 
https://communitymoms.wordpress.com/2016/01/08

This year, as usual, I want to try to be intentional with my time, meet some homeschooling goals, complete some projects/improvements around the house, simplify more, but mostly this coming year I am just looking forward to baby Dylan being born, our family growing and just soaking all that in.

Thank you to everyone who has read my blog over this past year, it started out as a way to get out my story of losing my babies and to reach others going through that but I feel like it’s turned into even more, I love having a place to share what God is doing in our lives, it’s like He is using me to show that hard things can be redeemed, like even though we have had to go through a lot of heartbreak we also have so many prayers that have been answered.  My faith was tested and shaken a lot in 2014, “For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow.” James 1:3, but in 2015 it definitely grew stronger than ever before.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!   

20 WEEKS!

Wow, halfway already!?!

Finally, I thought it'd take forever to get to this point!

Both of those exclamations have gone through my mind this week as I am officially halfway through this pregnancy.  But mostly what comes to mind is...

THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! PRAISE GOD!

I love having the obvious baby bump, a lady that didn't even really know me came up to rub my belly yesterday, that's when you know you look pregnant instead of just that you gained a bunch of weight! YAY! HA!

So, I had my "big, 20 week" ultrasound yesterday, baby was moving around showing off his hands and feet, I love it!  He was measuring exactly where he should be, which was so awesome to hear.  

I saw my doctor right after the ultrasound and she said he looks great, everything looks perfect....except one little tiny thing.  He had what they call a "bright spot" on/in his heart, which has been considered a marker for Down Syndrome. (the ultrasound tech spent extra time looking at his heart from several angles before she was happy with the images she got so I wasn't completely surprised for the doctor to say something about his heart)  BUT, it is only one minor marker, he has none of the 15 major markers, so she, my doctor, in no way thinks that he has Downs.  It's just something to be aware of and I will have another ultrasound around 28 weeks.

We went through something similar with my now 3 year old at her 20 week ultrasound,  except her spots where on her brain, and by the time I had the next ultrasound they were completely gone and she was perfectly fine.  Having a positive experience with something like this already helps keep any worries that creep up in check.

Truthfully, even though I know he will be fine and that this really isn't a big deal, I was still upset.  I mean you just want to hear that your baby looks perfect. Period.  Instead of hearing, yeah he looks great, except....

It just took away a bit of that excited, happiness that I wanted to feel right after the ultrasound.  But I do feel it now, the relief I wanted to feel afterward, cause other than that he looked so good!! I just needed to get a good cry out and then I just accepted it.  It is what it is.  Which really is pretty much probably like 99.9% totally nothing.

And actually, I'm very thankful, it could have been something much much worse, if there was going to be an "except" in my doctors words, I am so glad it is something like this instead of a million other things that could be "wrong".

Plus, on the bright side I get have another ultrasound and see my baby again in 8 weeks!

  

Homeschooling in December

Over the weekend I sat down to figure out what I wanted our homeschooling during this holiday season to look like, I also needed to write a post for Me Too Moments For Moms, for I ended up combining those two tasks.

When I sat down I wasn't sure what I wanted us to do this December, should we focus mostly on school? Mostly on Christmas?  

As I began to write and list the things I DID want to include this holiday season it became clear to me that focusing mostly on the things/activities/crafts/etc that brought us to the real meaning of Christmas is how we should spend most of the next few weeks.

Oh, we are still getting some schoolwork done, but on the days when our Christmas related activities take up most of the day we won't be stressed to get schoolwork done too.  And there are a lot of holiday things we can do that can incorporate many subjects as well. 

Head over to /homeschooling-during-the-holidays-by-shannon-mangicaro/ to see more of the ideas of what I want to do with the kids this holiday season instead of just our regular curriculum, I would love to hear what you are doing too!