Responsibility of a Large Family

      Sometimes I forget that we have a large family, or at least larger than normal, maybe it’s because for me it feels normal, and also because I could see us with a few more (that will be up to the Lord whether that happens or not) so having 6 doesn't seem like a huge amount.  (note: I have to admit that I think of myself as a mother of 8, even though 2 of my children are not physically here on earth, they are all always on my mind and in my heart)  

It’s mostly when we are out that I get reminded that we not “normal”. The other day we were in line at Frisch’s (thank you Valentines coupons, free kids meals!) and the guy in front of us turns around, starts counting kids and asked “Are you guys coming from Catholic church?”  I laughed and said, “no.”  Then he said “oh I figured you were, when the bible says ‘be fruitful and multiply’ you guys took it seriously!”  Then they sat us at two booths because they didn't have table available big enough for us.   

I am not one of those people who get upset by comments from strangers.   I couldn’t count the number of times I have heard “Are those all yours?” “You sure have your hands full” “You’ve got the whole team with you” “How many of those are yours?” (because clearly they all couldn't be mine, right?) “You look way too young/too small to have that many kids” (I have to say I like this one, it will be sad when that one stops!!) “How do you do it?” “Do you know what causes that?” etc. etc. etc.  Or I hear them counting the kids, people are always looking at us and I can’t tell if it is in a good way or bad way!  It’s silly to me, I don’t feel like we have that many. 

I typically think its funny and don’t get offended. I am proud of our family.  But I do see the attention we get as a responsibility.  We draw attention to ourselves by the amount of children we have, and even more so because we homeschool, when we are out during school hours that draws attention as well.  I am constantly telling the kids before we get out of the van “lets not make a scene in here, ok?!”  

I remind them that we are representing homeschoolers, large families, and Christians.   And that’s a big job, we should be a light in the world.   We can change the stereotypes that others may have in their head.  We won’t always know who all is watching, but we know God is watching, and can use us at any time as a blessing or a good example for someone else.  So that should be reason enough to not make a nasty comment back to someone who has just said something that could be taken as offensive, or reason enough for the kids to show respect to the people around, the place we are at, as well as to me and each other.   When they are little they don’t understand that concept, they have made “a scene” many times!  But I am still responsible for how I respond to them, and as they grow they understand it more and more.  I want to be approachable for someone who has a genuine question about homeschooling, raising a family, faith, etc.  I couldn’t help anyone if I was yelling at my kids, looking irritated, snapping at people, etc.   You never know all the ways your words or actions could affect someone else, and when you have a large family makes it a little easier for you to stand out and make a difference, so let’s see all that attention and those comments as a good thing instead of annoying!

“In the same way, let your light shine before people in such a way that they will see your good actions and glorify your Father in heaven.” Matthew 5:16